Given the opportunity

Odd title I know but work with me on this.

I have wanted to be an educator for as long as I know, I have made no secret of this. But I am scared shitless of becoming one. Ask any educator out there, the minute you put yourself in the shoes of someones  teacher you can basically control the lives. How much homework, the grade they receive, the assignments they complete you have every power over them. With this power comes 30+ parents telling what you are doing wrong and how they want you to change to meet their child's needs.

What scares me is the fact that if I piss off the wrong parent, my dream of being an educator can be over. I know it seem kind of melodramatic, but if I can control everything about their child's life, they feel that they can in turn control every part of my life, in the classroom or not.

I am a proud gay man, I am happily partnered but I am not out at work. And honestly I do not think I ever will be. Solely because I fear fueling the fire of hatred and anger that can take away my dream. So given the opportunity, I will not deny who I am. If someone asks I will tell, but I will not do anything that will put my dream in jeopardy. Even in a big city I have to deny who I am, or at least not be as open about it.

(You may be saying to yourself, this came out of left field. But I watched Milk tonight and it got me thinking, and angry. Angry because in 30+ years, NOTHING HAS CHANGED.)

Okay back to your regularly scheduled half naked mens tomorrow.